It’s been hours, days since your last cigarette. The nicotine has all but gone out of your system. So too has that initial wave of enthusiasm for your quit. All that’s left now is that uneasy feeling, lurking beneath the skin, scratching at your veins, making your chest heavy and your fingers desperate to grab, squeeze, BREAK something. You’re in the thick of it now. You’re deep in the heart of your quit. The tension builds, gnaws, claws away. Somewhere within, there’s a deep, guttural scream waiting to get out.
This too shall pass. This too shall pass.
This is a transcript of a video I posted on YouTube, minimally edited for clarity.
We all know about the physical changes that occur when we quit smoking. We breath better, we often look better, and we certainly smell better.
That said, the physical changes are only the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
After quitting smoking nearly four years ago, I started to notice countless changes in my mindset, my outlook, and my beliefs.
I could spend all day telling you all the countless ways that my thinking changed post-cigarettes, but here are just a few of the most significant…
Yesterday, I got curious.
Was 2020 really pretty much over?
After seeing countless variations of the My Plans vs. 2020 meme over the last few days, it certainly felt that way. It felt like we’d all decided to write the entire year off completely, agreeing that the best thing to do now was just to get to the other side of this pandemic, skip ahead to 2021 and start again.
The more I thought about this, the sadder it seemed.
I know those memes are funny, but honestly, it feels like 2020 has barely started and yet we’ve…
A few weeks ago, I made a video about quitting smoking during the coronavirus pandemic and dealing with the stress of it all.
That video opened up all kinds of interesting discussions with people currently on their quit journey. The more I spoke to those people, the more it became apparent that one of the biggest and yet most overlooked causes of stress for quitters right now is being stuck in lockdown with a smoker.
It isn’t just that they have no desire to quit, it’s that they seem either completely oblivious or completely unsympathetic to the fact that they’re…
As a student of person-centred counselling, you don’t get very far before you have to pick up a copy of Carl Roger’s seminal book, On Becoming a Person: A Therapists View of Psychotherapy.
There’s a good reason for that:
Rogers’ work was game-changing.
Concepts such as the six necessary and sufficient conditions and the organismic self, along with ideas about the most effective way to work with clients not only revolutionised therapy but also transcended it, impacting everything from social work to education.
So yes, Carl Ransom Rogers was a pioneer. Yes, he was one of the most influential figures…
The good thing about starting again is that we can do it as many times as we need to.
For years, I clung desperately to this statement. It brought me comfort to know that no many how many acts of wanton self-destruction I engaged in, there was always an opportunity to reboot and redeem myself.
Every time I f’d up (and believe me, I f’d up a lot), I took solace in the fact that it wasn’t too late. I always had another shot.
Sure, any external damage I’d caused (such as to relationships) may or may not have been…
The good thing about starting again is that we can do it literally as many times as we need.
Even if that means we start again and reboot multiple times a day — doing that is better than making the conscious decision to prolong our misery which so many people do.
So, let’s talk about starting again
We sometimes get into this habit where we’ll quit smoking and even though it’s tough, things seem to be working out for us. Then, for any multitude of reasons, something happens and we slip up.
After that slip-up, it’s tempting to think “oh…
The filthy black sky loomed large on that ice-cold Autumn morning.
Yanked violently from my slumber by a shrieking alarm, I paced around the house to the beat of my own optimism.
The world outside seemed dead, lifeless, but I felt more alive than I had in a long while.
Earlier that week, I’d sent off all the paperwork and officially accepted the challenge to run the Virgin London Marathon.
That was the easy bit, but now there was work to be done.
Even though I’d applied to run the marathon way back at the start of the year and…
Somebody far wiser than I once claimed that there is nothing to fear but fear itself.
I would like to propose an amendment to such a statement:
And I mean everything.
All the people, all the places and all the things under the sun, all coming with their own forms of fear, some of it helpful, some of it not so much.
Think of public speaking, social gatherings, striking up a conversation with someone you’re attracted to, or being assertive when the moment calls.
Then there are all those sundry other situations when fear threatens (and often succeeds!) to keep…